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will you just wait?

Updated: Jan 2

As most of you know by now, I have as recently as this week moved to a brand new country. If you don't, I moved to Mexico as part of a promise God gave me three years ago that is now coming to fruition through the beginning of a brand new journey and call.

The truth is that God opened up doors in a way I could have never even written myself, and a post or maybe series on this is probably due soon but more on that another day. Today, I find myself here in my promise, in a blessing, a free and loving place to live in a city I've been dreaming of moving to for three years. And in social media and maybe even the way I share my story it can sound like a fairy-tale, but the truth is that I have been suppressing my fear this entire time. I have chosen especially these last few months to put one foot in front of the other just trusting, trusting, trusting, believing, and silencing fear and God has been so faithful.

Being here I think it just became REAL, as real as it has ever felt, especially the first night as I laid down in a dark room in an unfamiliar space, in a completely unfamiliar country. As pastor Chad Veach mentioned recently, "you're too busy not to pray". I feel as though I am too dependent on Him in this season not to pray and quite honestly to lay on my knees surrendering every moment of every day. I continue to have no income yet, and bills are approaching, stability is lacking but I believe God has it all laid out and is asking me to just wait. These thoughts led me to read 1 Samuel for the first time and I could go on and on about how the story of Samuel and Saul has encouraged me so much but for the purposes of this post, I will focus on today's reading only and what I believe God has inspired me to share with you.

So we find ourselves in 1 Samuel 13: 8-14, if you don't know Samuel is a prophet overseeing the freed people of Israel. The people begin asking for a king to lead them rather than trusting God as their King. God hears their prayers, and though he is not happy about it he decides to hear their cry and appoint Saul the son of Kish as their King. We're going to skip to the part after Saul has been leading Israel already for forty-two years. Saul finds himself in a brewing war against the Philistines. Before the battle, the Israelites would do a burnt offering in a way to seek the Lord's blessing. Samuel asks King Saul to wait 7 days on him to do the offering and here is where we find ourselves in the story.

"He [Saul], waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter. So he [Saul] said ' bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings. And Saul offered up the burnt offering. Just as he finishes making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him."

“What have you done?” asked Samuel.

Saul replied, “When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Mikmash, I thought, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the Lord’s favor.’ So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering.” (1 Samuel 13:8-12)

Compelled is defined as forced or obliged (to do as someone asks or desires in order to help or PLEASE them) to do something (with pressure or force).

“You have done a foolish thing,” Samuel said. “You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time." (1 Samuel 13:13 NIV)

A few things stood out to me, Saul did not wait on the Lord even though he knew Samuel was coming and did not show up at the time Saul expected. He felt "compelled", he felt pressure, and he faced fear and reacted because of his surroundings and the reaction of his men.

What if Saul's wait was an ask of faith from God - "will you wait on me?, even if in the natural things might look like they are approaching a deadline?". "Will you focus on me?", "will you remember who I am, what I have already done for you?".

"Will you remember how I have never failed you and remember that I am actually for you, and would never leave you hanging".

If you are waiting it is for a reason, if things have not worked out the way they should or the way you believe they should, would you trust that maybe, just maybe, is it for a reason? maybe even for your best?

"Could I possibly be waiting on you to be ready?" Maybe he's being patient while you process what you are learning now, to surrender further, could it be to maybe show you how to lay in a position of surrender and trust in him? To have you spend time with him. To remind you that you are not in control.

You are so close - Samuel was so close, Saul was so close, the promise was RIGHT THERE.

Fear God, not the world.

When I say fear, I mean in a way of reverence and respect. In a way of believing He is the creator of all things and your protector. The world cannot lay a finger on you unless you let it.

Anxiety has no control over you, fear does not even exist in God's mouth, and stress is not a synonym of Jesus.

Peace is what he promises, trust is all he asks for, accept who you are in him and let Him take control. The truth is that you might still face fear but keep moving afraid, keep laying your fears down, and standing up in trust. One step in front of the other, even if that's all the strength you have to give. He will walk right next to you at your pace, just keep taking one more step.

1 Samuel says, "For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own" (1Sam 12:22), "But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you" (1Sam 12:24).

No journey is perfect nor does he expect perfection, all he asks is for your honesty. It's okay if you might be facing all these emotions or challenges, me too, but it does not change who He is, so let's not let them stop us either. Bring Him in and let Him show you personally his faithfulness in action.

A great song that has encouraged me while processing in this season is "O Come to the Altar" by Elevation Worship.

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